My mom used to slap my wrist a lot for playing with fire. Y’know, candles in restaurants, Grandma’s fireplace… come to think of it, I still get chastised at Christmas dinner for sticking napkins into the centerpiece. But can I really be blamed? Fire totally rules.
Here comes unto my inner pyromaniac: the Apollo Tabletop Fireplace. Does exactly what it says on the tin: it’s a fireplace, that you can put on a table. Or on a bookshelf. Or on the back of your toilet. Really, I guess you could put this thing anywhere (that isn’t underwater), because apparently it’s 100% safe, as long as you don’t go trying to touch the fire, or anything.
Burn time is 3 or 4 hours, so I guess this would mostly function as an accessory to a sexy, romantic dinner, but it’s still unimaginably badass.
Best part: you can buy one.
Worst part: for eight hundred dollars.
Playing with fire comes at a cost, folks.