3 Days, 1.7 Million iPhones - Apple Doesn't F*** Around

For all Odin’s love, Apple, slow down. You’re gonna hurt all those Foxconn workers (further) with the sheer velocity of those iPhones whizzing out of the plant.

“This is the most successful product launch in Apple’s history” said Big Steve of the accomplishment. Between Thursday and Saturday, 1.7 million iPhone 4s (iPhones 4? Pluralization is gonna suck until the need to specify the model dies down) entered the waiting hands of rabid line-waiters everywhere. That said waiting hands cause signal degradation is unimportant – this is still an intense achievement. “Even so,” continued Jobs, “we apologize to those customers who were turned away because we did not have enough supply.” Then he probably threw back his head and laughed and went off to bathe in a pool of money and beautiful ladies.

And I do not blame him in the slightest for doing so. Well played, Apple. Well played.

Written by Ty Dunitz

Ty is an illustrator who stays up too late, and has to wear glasses. You can follow him on Twitter if you want to (@glitchritual), but he's just gonna throw your stupid PR crap in the garbage, so don't email him.
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