Are You Really Gonna Wait All Month for a White iPhone 4?

You’ve gotta hand it to those who are holding out for white iPhones. There’s something to be said about the degree of willpower required to remain completely uncool until the end of the month, when Apple will finally release the fairer-coloured device into the wild, where it will no doubt be torn to pieces by frothing Applites – some of whom will probably already own the damn thing in black. Don’t give me that look. They know who they are.

You don’t have that sort of willpower, of course. You’re weak – but you have really steady hands. Perhaps your grandfather was a watchmaker. Yes, your grandfather was a watchmaker and you need a white iPhone 4 right the hell now. I know there’s a few of you. Stop crying! I’ve got good news.

WhiteiPhone4Now hears your respectless pleas for the milky purity of white plastic, and that’s exactly what they’re offering: for the virtual steal of two hundred and twenty nine American currency units, they’ll send you a new retina display, a bunch of white plastic bits and a sincere ‘good luck’, leaving you alone with your steady hands, to perform surgery on your own iPhone. They link to a tutorial on iFixit, but for the most part, you’re on your own. Good luck, indeed.

But maybe that’s not enough. Maybe you’ve got confidence issues. Maybe despite all grandpa taught you about precision craftsmanship, you just can’t do this alone. Don’t sweat; you’re covered! For an extra 54 currency units (+ shipping), WhiteiPhone4Now endorses another site, BrokeMyiPhone, to do it for you! Grandpa’s legacy remains untarnished by your apprehension.

You’d better hurry, though; these parts are shipping on the 8th! At last, for all that risk and three hundred bucks, you’ll be able to be totally awesome and hip in your ahead-of-the-curvature for just over two weeks.

Worth it.

Written by Ty Dunitz

Ty is an illustrator who stays up too late, and has to wear glasses. You can follow him on Twitter if you want to (@glitchritual), but he's just gonna throw your stupid PR crap in the garbage, so don't email him.
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