Science Confirms, Once And For All: The Chicken Came First

We’ll get back to Googles and stuff in a few minutes – this is way, way, way more important.

Doubtlessly you’ve wasted no less than several nights of your life, lying awake, debating in your head whether or not the chicken came first. Chickens come from eggs, though. Can’t have a chicken without one. But where the hell did the egg come from? Let’s be honest – this obsession is ruining your marriage. It’s ruining your marriage and you need to end this once and for all. But wait! Put the gun back in the drawer. There’s a better way: the question has been answered!

It’s true – British researchers have done a Science and discovered, conclusively, that the chicken came first.

“It had long been suspected that the egg came first,” said Dr. Colin Freeman of Sheffield University, “but now we have the scientific proof that shows that in fact the chicken came first.”

The secret lies in a protein known as ovocledidin-17, which is manufactured exclusively in the ovaries of chickens, and is integral to an egg’s shell formation. OC-17 coverts calcium carbonate into calcite crystals, which, in turn, form the egg shell. No chicken, no OC-17. No OC-17, no egg shell. No egg shell, no egg. At least, technically, no chicken egg. The finding came about when the researchers were able to zoom in on egg formation with the aid of HECToR, a super computer in Edinburgh.

Today, a great Science has been done – one of the world’s greatest mysteries, forever solved by intrepid men made of hero and legend. We salute you.

Next up: if a tree falls in the woods and nobody’s around to hear it, does it make a sound? Basic physics says yes. Schrodinger’s Cat says no. The battle rages on.

Written by Ty Dunitz

Ty is an illustrator who stays up too late, and has to wear glasses. You can follow him on Twitter if you want to (@glitchritual), but he's just gonna throw your stupid PR crap in the garbage, so don't email him.
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8 Comments »

 
#1
Laura
July 15th, 2010 at 9:23 am

Next up: if a tree falls in the woods and nobody’s around to hear it, does it make a sound? Basic physics says yes. Schrodinger’s Cat says no. The battle rages on. <- =D lmao

Great now when someone says that to me as a smart-ass comment, I can smugly say chicken, point them towards this article, and well and truly rub their noses in it! :)

 
 
#2
Oren
July 15th, 2010 at 9:27 am

Out of curiosity, what is the source link for this?

It gets kind of frustrating when Techi posts stories without referencing their sources.

 
 
#4
Lauren
July 15th, 2010 at 12:16 pm

Of course we are assuming the first egg was of the same material as the current eggs, without any type of mutation in the few years chickens have been around…

 
 
#5
Swat Chap
July 15th, 2010 at 4:32 pm

Finally proven!

 
 
#6
Kevin
July 19th, 2010 at 10:43 pm

Hehe,

I’ve always said that the answer to the question depends on whether one is an evolutionist or a creationist. To an evolutionist, dinosaurs laid eggs long before chickens were around. However, to a (Biblical) creationist, the chicken was created first. Looks like science is finally solving that age old dilemma. :)

 
 
#7
Theron Luhn
July 22nd, 2010 at 7:52 pm

“The secret lies in a protein known as ovocledidin-17, which is manufactured exclusively in the ovaries of chickens”

How do we know it wasn’t also manufactured in the evolutionary ancestor of the chicken? We have no way of knowing, since the chicken’s ancestors are long since gone.

To figure out this paradox, you first need to answer “when did the pre-chicken become the chicken?” Being a kind of sorites paradox, I don’t think we’ll find an answer anytime soon.

 
 
#8
Joseph
August 14th, 2010 at 9:03 pm

I’m gonna do like the caveman on this on: they’re both good for frying…

 

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