Where in the World is the White iPhone 4?

Ty Dunitz October 28 Apple

So, uh… hey, how you holdin’ up? Doin’ okay? You feelin’ alright today? Yeah? Bein’ strong? That’s a relief. Because I’m about to drop a hell of a bomb on you.

The, um… the white iPhone 4 is missing. What? No, no, it’s not lost! We just… don’t know where it is, that’s all. Apple seems to have taken it down from the store, which is not good amidst rumours that it was to be canceled altogether. There isn’t even a placeholder anymore. It’s just… gone.

Honestly, I don’t know why everyone and their dog has such a frothy mouth for the white iPhone 4. White tech never fares well, least of all white tech designed to be held by your filthy hands for hours a day. Soon, you get all your finger (and in a phone’s case, ear) junk into all the seams, and before long, your white phone is looking pretty taupe. Like, dudes. My Wiimotes? They. Look. Like. Shiiiit.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t love the white iPhone 4, filthy though it may inevitably be. So if you see it around, can you do us a solid? Can you tell it we miss it, and that it can come back whenever it’s ready? Thanks, you’re the most.

Written by Ty Dunitz

Ty is an illustrator who stays up too late, and has to wear glasses. You can follow him on Twitter if you want to (@glitchritual), but he's just gonna throw your stupid PR crap in the garbage, so don't email him.
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