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How to Pop Popcorn… With Lasers!

In case you had no idea what you were going to do this weekend, here’s a suggestion: popcorn. With lasers. But not just any lasers: Arctic Spyder blue lasers, the kind that if flippantly horsed around with, you could very literally unweld your retina from the back of your eye. Then you’d just have a floaty retina bobbing around in eye goo. And some unpopped popcorn. And nobody wants that. So if you’re going to try this, do be careful.

Granted, not the most efficient way to pop corn. But considering the badassery that goes into every kernal, you’ll enjoy it that much more. This is, of course, assuming you enjoy popcorn. But everybody enjoys popcorn. Should you be one of those who in fact does not… you’re on your own.

What do you think?

Avatar of Ty Dunitz

Written by Ty Dunitz

Ty is an illustrator who stays up too late and must wear glasses. You can follow him on Twitter if you want to (@glitchritual), but he's just gonna throw your stupid PR crap in the garbage, so don't email him.

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Dear Confectionary Industry: Sh! It Just Got Real.