Author: Ty Dunitz

This would be so rad, if I didn’t mind looking like a total chimney. Before you is the ‘world’s smallest’ cellphone jammer – disguised as a package of cigarettes. Surely you’re not into sitting on the bus, listening to someone yammering on in a language you don’t understand, at a volume you can’t tolerate, to a person you wouldn’t imagine is having an awfully fun time receiving the ear-splitting racket spewed into the phone by the offending mouth. So why not silence it? This thing jams (most) frequencies within a 32-foot radius, including 3G – probably enough to kill all insufferable talky-talky…

Hey there. This is a photographic collection of pixels whose purpose it is to show you what the 33rd-largest computer in the world looks like. I hope it’s doing its job. Seriously, though, this thing is a beast. Made of 1760 Playstation 3s, the behemoth harnesses the power of “168 separate graphical processing units and 84 coordinating servers” to help the US Air Force perform AI research, process maps and enhance radar functionality. But even this killer rig is practically obsolete, with the Air Force’s Mark Barnell admitting that he’s “looking forward to working with the next generation of…

FFS, Apple. FFS. Just as I – and, perhaps, many of you – thought that this whole 3D ballyhoo was coming to its logical conclusion (invariable failure – one that we would fondly look back on, cheeks flushed, and equate with things like flat-top haircuts, or Pogs), it seems that Apple has decided it isn’t so, filing a new patent that would bring glasses-free 3D to… some device, or something. This isn’t your daddy’s glasses-free 3D – and by ‘daddy’, I mean ‘Sharp’. Apple’s design is space-age as tits, using all manner of techno-sorcery to fill your eyes with Z-axis. Perhaps The Register explains it…

This is intense. Are you seated? Of course you’re seated, that’s a stupid question – who stands around in their laundry room reading tech news? Anyway, if, in the unlikely event you are not seated, you would like to be, please take this opportunity, because I’m about to let fly with some totally rad shizz all up in your eyeballs, or something, and I’d hate for you to, like, fall and break your wrist on the awesome I just spread all over the floor. What a mess of an opening paragraph. Anyway, seems Microsoft is taking the concept of ‘touchscreen’ to its logical conclusion with a new patent, which will allow…

And now you know….

No one ever accused Alicia Keys of f***ing around when it comes to philanthropy, and if you ever felt like you wanted to, she’s about to prove you seven shades of wrong. The singer, along with a host of other celebrities, are about to pull the plug on their online selves for charity. Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Seacrest, Usher and others are among the celebs who are taking part with Keys in a campaign called Digital Life Sacrifice for Key’s charity Keep a Child Alive. The campaign involves basically what it says on the tin – the participants are going to remove themselves from their Twitter and…

Citing an unconfirmed report in a Chinese newspaper, Digitimes has had the stone guff to whisper into our supple ears a list of five possible features the iPad 2 may or may not possess. The list is shakey at best, but sensible, and includes thinner glass, for mobility, a Retina display, video chat (meaning FaceTime (meaning cameras)), a 3-axis gyroscope, and – get this – a USB port. On the whole, most of these features are a pretty good bet, I’d say. The only reason the iPad 1 doesn’t have a camera was so they could make money this time out, and a large-as-hell Retina display is also likely in the cards in…

A new survey conducted by Japanese ad agency Dentsu has revealed the ‘hit recognized products’ in Japan for 2010. And hoo boy, what a list it is. Smartphones, of course, have more or less been grouped into one category as they would dominate the entire list of separate. Twitter has come in at second place, narrowly eking out munchable chili oil for the silver. Yes, that’s right. Munchable chili oil. The top three ‘hit recognized products’ in Japan for the year two thousand and ten are, in order: smartphones, Twitter, and MUNCHABLE CHILI OIL. No iPads. No gadgetry. Munchable chili oil. Oh, Japan….

Apple has now banned all single-station radio apps from iOS, stating that, according to Jim Barcus, “single station apps are the same as a fart app and represent spam in the iTunes store.” Many of us would tend to agree. But who the hell is Jim Barcus? He’s the president of DJB Radio Apps, a company that builds – surprise – single-station radio apps. And he’s not down with Apple’s decision. “[Apple doesn't] understand that radio stations are in fierce competition,” Barcus tells The Reg. “[Apple] just wants all radio stations to be on one big fat app, and that’s just not going to happen.” Well… can’t…

I can’t remember the last time I swallowed a foreign object on purpose. I think I was, like, six, and it was a Micro Machine. Remember Micro Machines? They were great for swallowing, among other things. Anyway, Fredrik Hjelmqvist, CEO of Pause Entertainment, is about to swallow a custom-made sound system for… well, probably for no other reason than that he can, turning himself into a human jukebox. Users will be able to log onto the official website to beam their song selections to Hjelmqvist’s stomach, where they will be able to continually annoy the crap out of him whilst he goes about his day,…