Author: Ty Dunitz

These laptops sure are warm, aren’t they? Mine gets absolutely unbearable sometimes. Turns out, perhaps unsurprisingly, that the intense heat could have an adverse effect on the contents of your… you know, nethers. Reuters reports, in the no-nonsense frowny-faced way that only Reuters can, on a study which sought conclusive results on the effects of laptop heat on sperm quality. That’s right. Somewhere, there is a man getting paid more than you are to provide data on ball temperature. Think about that for a second. Long story short, it turns out warm nuts are unhappy nuts. “Millions and millions…

I dunno much about stocks, but I know just enough to know that when someone loud and important (and loud (and most importantly, loud)) sells a crap-ton of them, something possibly suspicious is going down. Maybe. Perhaps. Everyone’s favourite CEO, Steve Ballmer (he’s totally your favourite, right? Of course he is) has spent the last few days dumping over 49 million shares of Microsoft, worth 1.3 billion dollars. I’m happy you’re ever-more obscenely rich, Steve, but… anything you wanna tell us? Windows Phone 7 launches today. You quitting while you’re ahead, or something? Reuters reports…

No one can ever say Sharp didn’t make unique phones. Actually, ‘unique’ may be a bit of an understatement in this case, as these here two devices what I’m about to fill your eyes with are possibly more at home filed under ‘absolutely ridiculous’. Y’all ready for this? First out of the woodwork is the TOUCH WOOD. I’m not even making this up, this is a thing. The TOUCH WOOD. The Sharp TOUCH WOOD. I have a real hunch that released Stateside, we would see a zealously over-tasteful name change. Sadly, though, we won’t – the TOUCH WOOD is a Japan-only release, and will see 15,000 units distributed through Japan’s…

Many of you may be aware, and even more of you mayn’t be, that I’m a huge Lamebook fan. While some Lamebook posts are cheesy, others comprise what is truly some of the greatest unintentional comedy on the web – some people just don’t know what to and to not share on Facebook. But Facebook isn’t laughing. Remember Teachbook, the poster boy for Facebook’s campaign against all websites ending in ‘-book’? Yeah. Yeah, we’re going into that again. Seems Facebook has been threatening Lamebook this time to halt its shameless lampoon of the social network. Allegedly, the threats have been happening since…

Waterloo Labs, a team of engineers at National Instruments Corp in Oregon, have unveiled the source code for their pet project ‘EyeMario’, which is more or less what you may guess on your second or third try – Mario Bros, as controlled by your eyes. It’s a really cool concept: electrodes hooked up to the user’s face measure the polarity of his or her freaking eyes and the relative position of them within their sockets to deduce what the user is looking at in-game. The result looks… well, suffice it to say that the on-screen action looks about as adept as my mother’s Mario skill. But that doesn’t stop…

What could have been a simple copyright infringement has become a full-blown circus after the internet got a hold of the tale of Monica ‘illadore’ Gaudio, who had an article published in Cooks Source magazine – without her knowledge any such magazine even existed. Upon contacting the publication, she was told she should be considered ‘lucky’, and that she should pay the magazine for running her story. Dear Cooks Source: What kind of learning disability do you have? This is the internet. We’re gonna find out. “I first phoned the magazine then sent a quick note to the ‘Contact Us’ information page,…

I’ve been using PCs for the better part of two decades, and in all that time, I’ve used Windows’ calculator maybe four times. As such, that the following has never been noticed by me isn’t exactly surprising, and if the breadth of your experience with the program is anywhere as vast as mine, it’s not surprising that you haven’t noticed, either. But apparently, Windows’ calculator is lying to you. According to Windows calculator, two minus two doesn’t equal zero. That’s not exactly true, but kinda. Be a peach and open up Windows’ calc for a second, would you? Thanks, you’re the best. Alright, find…

If there was one object today that, above all others, I was made to select and define as ‘the pimpinest shit’, I think I’ve found it. Behold, for you look upon the Rubik’s Cube Bank. At first, I didn’t get why this was cool. Then I realized that this is a piggy bank, and at some point, you’re gonna need to get your change back out of it, too. To put change into the bank, the yellow side must be solved. But to get change out, the green side must be solved, leading to all manner of adventures in frustration and self-control. Well, maybe you’ll be frustrated. I can solve one of these things, can’t you? If you want…

Oh, hey, I just realized I’m an inconsiderate jerk, and never asked you how your Halloween was. How’d it go? Good haul? See more Batmans this year? You didn’t go as Heath Ledger’s Joker again, did you? Good, that would’ve just been stupid. Stupid though your costume may or mayn’t have been, though, it can’t have been more stupid than this guy’s. YouTube user DrWormsie decided to go all-out this year and spend 250 hours and over a thousand dollars constructing what isn’t so much a Halloween costume as a motor vehicle. As you’ve already seen the video, you know damn right that this is one serious chunk…

Google has so much crap going on at once, I don’t blame you if you’ve never heard of Demo Slam, a Google site allowing users to upload videos demonstrating how they use Google products to… do… stuff, and put them head to head against videos of other users, doing other stuff. It’s totally cooler than I’m making it sound. Now, the interesting thing about Demo Slam is that all the videos… well, they kind of resemble ads. All of them are suspiciously HD, and involve, for the most part, questionable antics you wouldn’t expect from the everyday end user. Consider the following – which is far and away…