You Thought Print Media Was Dead? Bro, You Haven't Read Successful Farming

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Most publications are beginning to accept the death of print media. Magazines had a good, what, 100-year run or so? With all these iPads and Kindles and gadgets and things, it’s just time to move on. The future is paved in pixels.

But not Successful Farming. Successful Farming is hardcore. Successful Farming looks on at all these namby-pamby ‘high-tech’ publications like Wired, and Popular Mechanics, and scoffs as they fall back to the internet. Sissies. Successful Farming is a hair-chested, steak-eating MANgazine that plays Guitar Hero 2 on Expert and murders thousands of trees to present you with… like, successful farming techniques. And it will always be just that. Look at that headline: ‘Ten-Point Plan of Attack’. Damn straight that harvest is gonna be hassle-free. Don’t you pantywaists forget it.

So what is Successful Farming doing to keep on the cutting edge of print media? Why, video, of course. A recent ad for a pesticide recalls every sci-fi you’ve ever seen with all the elegance and panache of a singing birthday card.

This is obviously so revolutionary, we’ll soon be able to by leather-bound volumes of YouTube. Obviously.

Print is saved. Thanks, Successful Farming. Your muscles are so huge.

Written by Ty Dunitz

Ty is an illustrator who stays up too late, and has to wear glasses. You can follow him on Twitter if you want to (@glitchritual), but he's just gonna throw your stupid PR crap in the garbage, so don't email him.

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