Offbeat posts

Man, the iPhone 4 isn’t even out yet and already the ‘cleverest app’ game has arguably been taken to its logical conclusion. Utilizing the iPhone 4′s gyroscope, the Drunkometer is the brainchild of web designers 23, and boasts a host of handy features, such as drunk-dial prevention, a Google Maps overlay that prevents you from accidentally ingesting unhealthy food, Foursquare integration (I lold), and a big red button to call your ‘Rescue Buddy’. To activate the Drunkometer, you simply perform a few simple balance tests while sober to calibrate the app. Once drunk, the app measures your ‘wobble…

Check this out. As you may or may not have already hit play, you may or may not already know that this is Watson, a computer by IBM that they’ve dubbed a ‘question answering system’. As horrifyingly uninteresting as that sounds, this is the closest I’ve come to a sense of ‘awe’ at the communication skills of a computer. Yeah, all Watson does is answer questions – he probably isn’t one for small talk. But the cool thing here is that Watson does it by interpreting natural language. How many computers do you know that are bad enough dudes to do that? Probably less than one. Slang, colloquialisms, and conversational…

The format wars are largely a thing of the past, and thank god for that. Now we’re less concerned about the shape or size of the piece of plastic we insert into drives with complex moving parts, and more concerned with moving bits and bytes around the web onto servers and hard drives. The one format that has always seemed immune from progress though is vinyl. Even audiophiles can’t explain pop culture’s ongoing love affair with tired old plastic discs, but the attraction remains nonetheless. Jeff Mills knows you shouldn’t have to choose. His latest music release is a double-sided CD and vinyl hybrid,…

Awhile ago, I wanted to purchase some custom Converse shoes. Y’know, how on their website, they let you design your own? I’m all sorts of Canadian, so I was turned away upon checking out. I’ve been ensaddened ever since. In fact, it isn’t the first time my online shopping experience has been stifled by my nationality. But lo! Now I can drown my sorrows! Taking a page from Converse and throwing iconic brand visibility to the wind, Heineken has begun a bizarre online campaign  that allows you to ditch the green bottle and design your own, for a truly… uh… custom drinking experience? That seems weird…

Gabriel Dishaw knows what beef is. Culling tech refuse for old circuit boards, processors, and other obsolete throw-away-ables, Gabe recombobulates them into – what else? – shoes. There’s really not much to say about these that you can’t already divine from these photographs, including but not limited to the fact that Dishaw has chosen an extremely odd artistic fixation, if a rad one. You’re currently looking at the ‘Junk Dunk’. Cute. In all seriousness, I’d totally rock a pair of these. Comfort schmomfort, am I right, people? It’s the price we pay for totally pimp kicks. Apparently, though,…

Yeah, maybe I talk about iPads and iPad accessories a bit much, but this is seriously cool, so let’s just get this out of the way and I swear I’ll move on to something a little less iPad-centric, aight? Aight. So this is pretty self-explanatory. Jack Zylkin is man who couldn’t be bothered with the comfy, convenient ergonomics of modern input devices, and apropos has taken up the previously-unclaimed mantle of ‘guy who invented the USB typewriter’. Billed as ‘a new and groundbreaking innovation in the field of obsolescence’, the USB typewriter is, in fact, a typewriter – or rather several different…

You’re a tech geek. You’re dirty from logging 20 hours a day in your bedroom/office/cubicle/basement in front of things with screens. Dude, you need a bath. Now, I hear your complaints: ‘regular soap is so… un-tech!’ Yeah, I hear that. But last time I attempted to simply blast my naked self with compressed LCD cleaner, it didn’t work so well. An alternative would have to be found. However, thanks to the dude (or dudette? I suffer from geek gender bias – I admit it and I’m sorry) at Two Eggplants, we can finally scrape away the layers of filth keeping the ladies at bay and enjoy a rich social life, all…

Or: The Pac-Man Call. I… I can’t even really explain this video (well, it’s just audio, really). Poor Lorainne just can’t seem to figure out how to make Google Pac-Man disappear. Over a brutally hilarious five minutes, the ever-helpful Brian holds Lorianne’s hand through a tour of her screen real estate and the secret to making ‘The Pac-Man Game’ leave her in peace. The finale is frustratingly cute: ‘how many calls have you gotten about this?’ Lorianne asks with a laugh, surely expecting a triple-digit number. I’ve said to much already, just listen. This is exactly why I don’t discuss computers…

So there’s an awful lot of dead people in Hong Kong, and I mean that with the utmost respect – burial really is a big issue due to overpopulation. To combat this, the Chinese government has opened a virtual cemetery. Yes. Yes, that is exactly what they have done. Mourners can register a departed loved one, upload photos and video, and give offerings in the form of emoticons including candles, flowers, roast pig, and most traditional offerings. Seriously, if I find a list of these emoticons, I will absolutely update this post with them. The site claims that its purpose is to “[facilitate] the public…

Justin Bieber. His name alone has become synonymous with levels of rage and annoyance previously unheard of amongst internet users worldwide. For every hater, however, Bieber has an army of preteen girls to defend his honor. Born on March 1st, 1994 in Stratford, Ontario, Bieber is now 16 years old. While he’s known for his pre-pubescent, high pitched voice, he is also capable of playing drums, piano, guitar, and trumpet. If you’re reading Techi, I’m going to go ahead and assume you’re not a fan of his work. Nevertheless, his musical aptitude cannot be denied. Now, talent is great and all, but…