These days, Big Steve (that’s Jobs, for anyone who hasn’t figured out my schtick yet) is considered by and large as magical as he likes to claim the iPad. What a handsome chin. What a dapper turtleneck. The guy’s gotta have a CHA score of, like, 18 at least. The turtleneck’s probably giving him a bonus, too. Hunkalicious. Over the last couple months, one easy out for blogfolk tapped for stories has been to report on random emails, from both consumers and fans alike, that Jobs has decided to cryptically answer. Much to his chagrin, though, said laziness on the part of the blogfolk has created an unrelenting…

The Great Signal Caper continues. Is it alright to call it a caper now? More things should be called capers. Anyway, Apple has responded to customers’ never-ending pleas for an end to the iPhone 4′s signal issue by offering an accessory previously unbethunkable: the iHand. Taking a more utilitarian approach to product design, the iHand is all about function. Simply slot your iPhone 4 into the iHand’s hand, hold the iHand’s hand in your hand, dial a number, and enjoy worry-free calls of the clearest crystal clarity! Truly, Cupertino’s been boiling midnight oil BP-style on this. The iHand is available…

Someone isn’t on board. “Bluray is looking more and more like one of the high end audio formats that appeared as the successor to the CD – like it will be beaten by Internet downloadable formats,” said turtleneck enthusiast Big Steve Jobs in response to a customer’s complaint that the new Mac Mini didn’t come with a Blu-ray drive. When said customer fired back that it was filesharing and piracy that lead to the dominance of the MP3, Jobs continued. “No, free, instant gratification and convenience (likely in that order) is what made the downloadable formats take off. And the downloadable movie…

I haven’t seen synchronization of this magnitude since that whole Dark Side of Oz business. The Death Star analogy is astonishingly poignant, depending on your opinion of Apple’s tablet. I suppose I need an obligatory Star Wars quote, dont I? Um… “Just get in, I don’t care what you smell!”…

That’s a lot of iPads in not a lot of days, kids. “Customers around the world are experiencing the magic of iPad, and seem to be loving it as much as we do,” said Big Stevey J of the achievement. “We appreciate their patience, and are working hard to build enough iPads for everyone.” iPad fever shows no signs of slowing down, and I’m sure this won’t be the last jaw-dropping sales figure we’re going to see. I really wish Jobs would stop calling the thing ‘magical’ – surely he’s aware at this point it’s one of the most snicker-worthy tech branding memes since Nintendo announced the Wii would be called the Wii….

Steve Jobs has been called many things – a visionary, a criminal, an entrepreneur extra-ordinary, and Santa Claus. But it appears Google Autocomplete has something to say about Jobs, too. Typing ‘Steve Jobs is’ into Google’s search field will net the curious viewer some equally curious commentary about Apple’s CEO before even slamming the search button, attacking and insulting Jobs from all angles, including race, religion, and… punctuality? Heavens, no! While it’s every bit as likely that these are just the honest-to-goodness most oft-aggregated search terms, it’s interesting nonetheless,…

Mark Anderson from Andertoons was kind enough to send this into us. With WWDC coming up in a few days, he thought he’d pen a comic about Steve warming up his hyperbole. Thanks Mark!…

Here it comes, folks – WWDC kicks off on June 7th, and Steve Jobs will be there to explode the event himself with an opening keynote. With the iPhone 4G already well-documented, we can only ponder what sort of fresh tricks Big Steve will produce from the inky black sleeves of his turtleneck. Then again, it’s Jobs – he’s not in the habit of disappointing. Personally, I’m begging for a new iPod Classic. Fat chance. I’d tell you to check out WWDC, but the event sold out in eight days this year; apparently, that’s a record or something. Either way, Most of you’ll have to be content to read about it from the comfort…

Cast your mind back to June 2007, when Apple CEO Steve Jobs appeared at D:All Things Digital alongside Microsoft’s Bill Gates. Now watch this video in which Gates describes his vision of the future of computing, which sounds remarkably like, erm, an iPad…. “I don’t think you’ll have one device. I think you’ll have a full-screen device that you can carry around and you’ll do dramatically more reading off of that… yeah, I mean, I believe in the tablet form factor [...] You’ll have some way of having a hardware keyboard and some settings for that. And then you’ll have the device that fits in your…

Apple has a host of patents to its name, and rifling through them can offer some fascinating insights into the potential future of technology and the possibilities that are open to the company as it executes its vision for the future convergence culture. We’ve taken a look at some of the most recently published Apple patents and chosen six of the most exciting to tell you all about. 1. iSpecs: an advanced head-mounted display system for the iPhone or iPod This system (above) may even host its own video camera or be able to communicate with the camera that’s already inside the iPod touch or iPhone….