I could make jokes about this all day, so before I do, please bear in mind that this is actually a pretty good idea: Australian company Simativa has developed underwear that texts when you poop. I can explain, I swear. The SIMsystem, as it’s officially known, is actually targeted at the elderly (SIM is Smart Incontinence Management) and lets caregivers know via SMS message when it’s time to get their hands dirty. It can even broadcast the ‘event’ over a facility’s entire paging system. Classy. The diagram below shows you how it works, though I suppose it’s pretty self-explanitory….