So I heard there was, like, some kinda phone or something being released today. Bunch of people are in line, I heard.
I won’t pretend not to be excited about the iPhone 4, even though my current phone contract and general lack of income will disallow my having one for the next several eons. Though if initial reports are any indication, maybe I don’t want one for awhile.
While most first shipments are not without their flaws, the iPhone 4 seems to be sporting some pretty ugly ones, and not even counting the apparently easily-cracked screen (what the tits do you think will happen if you go around intentionally dropping your phone, guys). No, these problems are far less attractive.
The first is an apparent discolouration of the screen, reported on a countless number of early shipments. Y’know how in college you had big, nice stereo speakers next to your CRT television, and the picture got all distorted and yellow? This is like that, only with more Apple and less magnets. Not the worst problem in the world, but still worth driving back to the Apple Store over. One user is taking it in stride: “I’ll sit tight with the pee stain on my screen until the crazies all get their phones,” he writes, adding some optimism. “Maybe i can swap it for a white one then?”
The second, and much less acceptable problem seems to be something that I… I just can’t see how Apple would have overlooked:
When you hold the iPhone 4 in your hand, the signal degrades, and disappears.
That’s right. The iPhone 4 is totally wicked fast and awesome, until it’s in your hand. Y’know, that place it would be if you were making a call. Wanna see this in action? Check it.
How in f**king f**k do you mess this up? Actually, I posit a theory: as reports of this outrageous blunder trickle through the internet, it seems the problem is coming from the lower left corner of the device. Now, imagine holding the iPhone in your hand. Where’s the left corner? Probably close to your pinky, if you’re right-handed. However, I, like the dude in the video, here, am left-handed. The lower left corner would be nestled snugly in the palm of my hand, keeping all that sweet 4G signal tucked away. I guess every single person working for Apple is right-handed, or something. That, perhaps, is how the f**king f**k you mess this up.
Anyway, while the world once again goes iPhone crazy, I’ll definitely be content to sit on my arse for a little while. Besides, maybe I want one in white. And maybe ages from now, they’ll have some.