Hunters Take Aim at Google, Google Sends Skiers To Help

Ty Dunitz September 22 Offbeat

Google’s currently working on an underground path for the previously-aerial fiber connected to its data center in the Dalles, Oregon. But why? What could possibly necessitate an expensive move underground? Birds? Weather?

According to Google, it’s hunters.

In a conference in Australia last week, Google’s network engineering manager Vijay Gill let fly with the reasonably bizarre tidbit.

“Every November when hunting season starts,” explained Gill, “invariably we know that the fiber will be shot down, so much so that we are now building an underground path.”

So dudes with guns are actually firing on Google’s hardware. For giggles and shits, no less.

” …because they’re bored, they try to shoot at the insulators,” continued Gill. “I have yet to see them actually hit the insulator, but they regularly shoot down the fiber.”

And Google’s finally had enough, taking their fibers underground. And just as well – repairing the aerial fibers hasn’t always been easy. Once, after an avalanche, it was impossible to send the typical repair vehicle, so instead, Google, opted to send men on skis. As if I’m not making this up.

“These guys had to cross country ski for three days,” said Gill, “[They] had to go in and fix the fiber while facing gun shots! The internet is more dangerous than you realize.”

And how, Gill. Yeah, good call on that underground business.

Anyone remember SkiFree? I’m suddenly reminded of SkiFree. They should remake that. With guns.

Written by Ty Dunitz

Ty is an illustrator who stays up too late, and has to wear glasses. You can follow him on Twitter if you want to (@glitchritual), but he's just gonna throw your stupid PR crap in the garbage, so don't email him.
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