The plane has all but crashed into the goddamn mountain for Facebook, but Zuckerberg is still hoping against hope to pull up before the moment of impact, promising new privacy controls and more or less apologizing for Facebook’s douchey stance on privacy over the last few months.

‘Sometimes we move too fast — and after listening to recent concerns, we’re responding,’ said Zuckerberg in a Washington Post column. ‘We have heard the feedback. There needs to be a simpler way to control your information.’ Y’know, it makes you wonder whose control he’s speaking of, doesn’t it?

Okay, okay, so I’m taking that out of context, and that’s unfair. But I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s felt spurned by Facebook in the last little while – it’s hard to immediately trust Zuckerberg based on his history, good intentions though he may have.

‘We have also heard that some people don’t understand how their personal information is used and worry that it is shared in ways they don’t want,’ Z-berg continued. ‘We already offer controls to limit the visibility of [your] information and we intend to make them even stronger.’ Yeah, and a cheeseburger has lettuce, Mark; its presence doesn’t limit the visibility of my ass.

Assuming you’ve already logged into Facebook today, obviously no changes have yet been made, but in the next couple weeks we will likely begin to see these changes Big Z claims will help make our Facebook experience less filled with disdain.

They’d best, Mark. They’d best.

[Via Washington Post]