The Great Signal Caper continues. Is it alright to call it a caper now? More things should be called capers. Anyway, Apple has responded to customers’ never-ending pleas for an end to the iPhone 4’s signal issue by offering an accessory previously unbethunkable: the iHand.

Taking a more utilitarian approach to product design, the iHand is all about function. Simply slot your iPhone 4 into the iHand’s hand, hold the iHand’s hand in your hand, dial a number, and enjoy worry-free calls of the clearest crystal clarity! Truly, Cupertino’s been boiling midnight oil BP-style on this. The iHand is available in every human skin tone – and even some that aren’t! Choose one that’s not your own! Fool your friends! Happy best time had by all.

This is, of course, what Big Steve meant when he said ‘hold (it) different’. He planned this all along. The iPhone 4 launch was merely a ruse for iHand. Clever, Steve. Well played. I have never wanted a mannequin or mannequin-like object more than this. And lucky for me, iHand costs merely a pittance at $69.99.