Sharpie Reinvents the Pencil, Possibly Through Forbidden Sorcery

Long ago, in the before-times, people did this thing. It was sort of like texting, but involved the manipulation of this crude wooden stick to create letterforms. I think it was called ‘writting’ or something. In any case, the communication technology historians at Sharpie have discovered a new form of this archaic medium that hobbyists of ancient communication will get a kick out of.

Dubbed the ‘Liquid Pencil’, the device is not so much an erasable pen as a non-erasable pencil. What’s the difference? Well, not much, but unlike previous forays into the exploration of the removability of ink, this pencil actually becomes indelible after three days, putting the penman on a 72-hour clock. You’d better be happy with what you hath writ. It’s a pretty crazy technology, to the point that I’m willing to classify it as sorcery.

AND ON THE THIRD DAY SHALL YOU REMOVE THE ERASER FROM YOUR HAND, FOR IT IS DONE; FUTILE WILL BE YOUR ATTEMPTS TO UNDO THE LIQUID RUNES EMBLAZONED UPON THIS LIST OF ‘GROCERY’.

This is exactly why I don’t deal with ancient, forbidden magicks – I stick to good old reliable technology. No evil, ancient demonic forces at work with Twitter. No sir. Beiber doesn’t count.